Anyone feel stressed these days?

I ask, but of course already know the answer.

This week, I challenge you to reframe stress. Sometimes, we overuse the word. Now, I’m not talking about toxic positivity or trying to minimize real stressors. But there are times when we call ourselves “stressed” when we’re really just busy. Or irritated.

Clarity can help. Make a list of things that are stressful for you. Some of them might be exams, or bad traffic, or doctor appointments, or a difficult talk with a relative. Some of them might be the lack of parking on campus, a friend who’s been unexpectedly rude to you, or money problems.

Now take a sheet a paper and divide it into quadrants: Activities, Annoyances, Moderate Stressors, and Real Traumas. Get honest about which stressors belong in each category. You might find that something you’d labeled as a stressor is really just an activity or an annoyance. If it’s a moderate stressor, there is a probably action you can take to alleviate that stressor: if it’s a big exam, studying a bit every day rather than cramming at the last minute (after procrastinating because just thinking about it stressed you out) would help you feel less worried. If it’s a real trauma, you know it’s time to talk to a professional.

As you get a sense of what’s really going on–busy-ness or real stress–you can then make choices by CONTROLLING THE CONTROLLABLES. Of course, there are things we can’t control…but that’s a topic for another post. In the meantime, make choices about what you can do about the things you can control.